BIRTH ORDER
BEYOND THE BOOKS is a weekly meme where KissinBlueKaren throws out a topic (mostly non-bookish), and we blog about it.
As I was thinking about this post I came to realize why I might have such mixed up personality traits.
I was the only child for my parents, but my three older cousins lived downstairs, and my aunt daycared me, so I was more like the BABY of the family until I was six.
But when my parents divorced, I was whisked away to the countryside and was very much an ONLY child.
Ouch! Ha ha. Only child traits also included spoiled and selfish, but I was the "redheaded stepchild" and very much treated as second class citizen. When my stepbrother moved in when I was thirteen it became even worse. It was like the evil stepfather and the wicked stepbrother, so there was no spoiling or selfishness going on there.
I was sixteen the year my stepbrother moved out after his high school graduation and my half sister was born. So I was then playing the role of the OLDER child.
But here's the rub. After putting this post together I think personality traits have much more to do with family dynamics than birth order. I think it plays some role, but not as much as some people think. I was a perfectionist and an organization freak from preschooler on while I was the baby, not after I became an older sister. And I have always been nurturing, too. I was responsible early on because my mother basically ignored me and I was responsible for taking care of myself. I don't think I have ever been much of a show off, but I will admit to being ridgid (set in your ways) because of not having to live with children close to my age. I am comfortable leading, following, or working independently; is that from being in three different birth order positions? I don't know. I will say that my son exhibits more of the traits of an only child than I do, and my one nephew could be the poster child for middle child syndrome, though. Ha ha.
What is your birth order placement? Do you have any of the associated traits?
I'm an Only and am definitely have 2 of the traits - independent and self-motivated but not so much the others. You definitely have been all over the place in terms of birth order! I think your keyword should be adaptable.
ReplyDeleteI think what is going in in the family has more to to with it. My sister (s more like an only child because I left the house when she was two, and my stepbrother was already gone. I have a friend who is an only, but she has more of the oldest child traits because her mother was disabled soon after she was born and she had to become a mini-caretaker. I never would have pegged you as an only! I would have thought you grew up with sisters. :)
DeleteI'm 5th in my family. XD Second-to-the-baby...but also a sort of middle child because there's a HUGE gap between my older 3 siblings and then me + other two siblings. So it almost felt like we were TWO separate families? Which is weird to try and explain but it makes sense to us. HHAHA. Ahem. But I did (do?) have a lot of middle-child traits. I ran riot around and did devious things (I'm taking "devious" as in, climbing trees or rocks that were kinda dangerous ahem) while my little sister, the baby, was never allowed. I was kind of trusted. Not ignored, per se, but just no one fretted over me. And I didn't have the "oldest child" responsibilities. SO MUCH FREEDOM. IT WAS GOOD.
ReplyDeleteBut I definitely think that birth-order doesn't mean everything when it comes to personality. *nods* I'm also a perfectionist and organisation freak. So there's that. ;D
Yes! My sister was baby/only and she was a risk taker (climbing, jumping) and was pretty devious, too. And those have nothing to do with either of her birth "orders". I couldn't make a blind impression with you because I already knew you were from a big and a "gap" family. I so envy you! I wanted to grow up in a big family as a younger sibling. :)
DeleteI am an only child and I must admit I have a handful (ok more than a handful) of the qualities. But in my family I grew up being around all my cousins so in that case I was tied for the oldest and I have the nurturing trait. But I always hated being the only child when I was not around my cousins b/c I never had anyone to play with.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely. After being around my cousins for all those years it was dreadful being an only child. :)
DeleteIt is interesting to see how m=we grow up really shapes us into the people we are as adults. I grew up with a lot of chaos and I think I thrive on it ow with my 4 kids. Never a dull moment here.
ReplyDeleteI had to have everything "just so" in the house, but I had to give up that need after my son was born. Ha ha. :)
DeleteI'm an only child. And on my mom's side, the only kid really. My cousin was 8 years older than me and didn't live close, so I was often the only kid at family functions. I had similar aged cousins on my dad's side, but we only saw them a couple of times per year. As a result, I was used to having to entertain myself and was very comfortable around adults. It made me very self-conscious around my peers though. I still get weirded out parties with people my own age sometimes. I would say I'm pretty independent and like having a space to "get away" from people. I chose not to live in the dorms during college because I was not used to sharing my space AT ALL and knew I would hate it. I was pretty mature for my age. But, I wouldn't say I spoiled or selfish though. My parents were fairly strict. I did have a lot of kids assume that about me though once they found out I was an only child, so I often wouldn't tell people about it.
ReplyDeleteI guess I really don't fit the only child mold then, other than being set in my ways, because I have always been very social and when spending what other people would consider alone time, I still prefer one other person there. :)
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